By Dennis Pollock
Here’s a question you probably have never thought about: Was the apostle Paul, as a believer, a terrible sinner living a wretched life filled with sin and guilt? Or was he a godly man who loved the Lord with all his heart? Due to some of the statements Paul makes in his epistles, some Christians have suggested that Paul was a terrible Christian, constantly sinning and feeling bad about his life and his walk with the Lord. Let’s look at why some seem to think this.
In writing to Timothy Paul says: “This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.” (1 Timothy 1:15). Some have suggested that Paul is talking present tense here – saying that he is (not was, but is) the worst sinner in the church, the chief sinner, the foremost and biggest sinner of all. Christians have traditionally believed that Paul had his before-Christ days in mind here. Before Jesus transformed him, he had persecuted the believers, imprisoned them, and beat them. He had been so fanatically opposed to what he supposed was a cultish sect that he did everything in his power to stomp out Christianity before it could take root. And though he had repented, trusted Jesus as his Savior, and was now serving his Lord with all his heart, he could never forget those terrible early days when he had so vigorously opposed the King of kings.
Another Scripture which is sometimes used to suggest that Paul wasn’t much of a Christian in his personal life is found in Ephesians where Paul writes: “To me, who am less than the least of all the saints, this grace was given, that I should preach among the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ.” (Ephesians 3:8). Some have suggested that Paul considered him the least godly Christian in the whole church. He was at the absolute bottom of the barrel. Pick any Christian at random, and he would be far superior, far more godly, much more self-controlled, and with a stronger prayer life than Paul, who was, as he said, “less than the least of all the saints.” Is this the apostle to whom all the church owes such a huge debt – is this miserable Christian, this ungodly, constantly sinning, constantly failing man the one who taught us all the doctrine of justification by faith in Jesus?
The Least Apostle
In his first epistle to the Corinthians, Paul describes himself as the least apostle, saying: “For I am the least of the apostles, who am not worthy to be called an apostle…” (1 Corinthians 15:9). Does this mean that Paul sinned far more than Peter or James or John? Was Paul a weaker Christian, did he have a far more anemic prayer life, was he more immoral than the other apostles, was he truly unworthy to even call himself an apostle? And if this was so, why did he begin all his letters with the words: “Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ“? We do not have to guess what Paul meant by saying he was the least of the apostles and not worthy to be an apostle, because he followed this statement with these words: “because I persecuted the church of God.” (1 Corinthians 15:9).
Paul was not talking about his current state or walk with the Lord; he considered himself unworthy to be an apostle of Jesus Christ because in his pre-conversion days he had persecuted the church as no one had ever done. And even though he knew Christ had forgiven him, he was deeply ashamed of his behavior and never forgot how merciful Jesus had been to him. After telling Timothy that he was the “chief of sinners” he wrote: “However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life.” (1 Timothy 1:16). Paul saw his own conversion, after he had treated God’s people so terribly, as a demonstration to the world of just how kind and merciful God was to sinners. Paul, calling himself the chief of sinners, was not referring to his present state; he was undoubtedly thinking of his former pre-conversion days.
Many Christians have read the 7th chapter of Romans and concluded that Paul had major sin issues and addictions in his life. In this chapter, Paul states:
For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice… For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? (Romans 7:19-24)
Constantly Sinning
Some Christians have pounced on this and said: “You see, even Paul couldn’t live a godly life. He was constantly sinning and doing things he knew were wrong.” But the idea of Paul living a conflicted, sinful, wretched life, constantly doing the very things he knew were wrong and in a perpetual state of guilt and shame is absurd. Paul was using a literary device here to personalize the state of the individual who wants to be good and do good and yet finds himself doing the very thing he hates.
This could not have been Paul’s normal state after his conversion, because he stated repeatedly that Christ not only forgives us of our past sins, but delivers us from the very power of sin. In Romans 6 Paul writes:
- How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? (Romans 6:2)
- Our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin. (Romans 6:6)
- Reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:11)
- For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace. (Romans 6:14)
No, the apostle Paul, hand-picked by the Lord Jesus to take His gospel to the Gentiles, was not a carnal, wicked, immoral, lying, stealing, fornicating, fake believer, the worst Christian who ever lived. He wasn’t perfect, of course, but he was a godly man who loved Jesus and gave himself completely to His service. I think some Christians like to think of Paul as a great sinner because it gives them an excuse for their own sins and failures. But make no mistake about it: Paul was a God-fearing, Christ-honoring servant of the Lord Jesus. And we should make it our aim that in our own small way, we will live this way as well, dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
